Just Be a Little Braver with Each Painting

More than ever, I realize that what stops many of us, me included, from painting what we really want to paint is the fear that we are not good enough. I've been looking for a mindset shift that would help me be braver, and I found this one from artist Hazel Soan to be helpful -

Take every painting as an opportunity to explore.

I tried to adopt this mindset when I approached my recent painting. Starting with small sized explorations, be messy and open, let my feelings and ideas flow freely, and slowly build up towards a larger painting.

When I started doing my third version, facing a larger piece of white paper, I found myself nervous again. I decided to take three deep breaths, and asked Spirit to come into the creative process, to guide and express.

The painting was going well until midway, when I felt lost again. I thought I had a plan informed by my small studies, but this painting started to feel much softer and serene, unlike the rough and raw feeling of my studies. I was planning to throw in some hot pink and eccentric magenta for the background, but now it no longer felt right for what was emerging. And I didn't want to keep the background just light and airy like I would always do. It might work, but I wouldn't be exploring my own edges that way.

I did not know what to do. I walked away from the painting for hours. The next day, I decided to keep on with the mindset of Exploration. I wanted to explore, what if I went for a darker value for the background, and what if I created more definition for the face features, than I would normally be comfortable with? The worst thing that could happen would be messing up the painting. But so what? I can do it again.

I forged on, and completed the painting, and the exploration with lots of discoveries. There are definitely things I know I still can learn and improve. In the meantime, I want to pat myself on the back for making a sincere effort to create beauty and being a little braver. That by itself is good enough.

 "Shining Her Light Quietly."

She shines not because she is without pain,

but she chooses to live in the Whole.

She is at peace not because water is calm,

but she knows in turbulence,

she can dive deeper into Truth, like a whale;

and fly closer to Spirit, like an eagle.